I think you know you’re doing something that truly feeds your soul when your alarm goes off at 4am- only 3 hours after you went to bed- and you just jump up. Out the door by 4:30, on set by 5:40- and don’t forget the Dunkin run on the way…
Before 6am you’re already breaking a sweat and by 7 hopping back in the car to problem solve on the spot. It’s complete and utter chaos…
And I love it.
With any job (or anything in life for that matter), there will always be the hard things- the cons to a situation or experience. The little things that make or break whether that’s possibly your place in the world (or not). The things that you must have the true passion for in order to find the depth within you to continue in the low tides.
Days like these can be long. I’ve had the privilege of sitting on a wide array of sets over the last couple of years- and this week added another to my list- but in the end, they all have one thing in common. The days are undeniably… long. 6am call times followed by strict shot lists, when you’re there, you’re on and have to remain that way for the entirety of the day.
But can I tell you?
They’re my favorite days. Even in the tougher moments, they are the days that remind me why certain dreams were planted in me all those years ago. Despite the lack of sleep and chaos, there is this magical space where structure meets freedom and creativity. To be in a space where everyone there, decided to take that unconventional route- straying from that 9-5 to follow a dream. It’s one of the most inspiring environments.
I guess I’m just having a moment… a grateful moment. Sort of an “I made it moment” in ways, but also not really because there is so much more to accomplish and strive for- I’m only just beginning. But still, it’s important to recognize the small wins along the way, right? To really put it all into perspective.
And today?
Today, I may have ran on a few hours of sleep, drove all over yonder, and unloaded and reloaded numerous garment bags… But I also got to watch the sunrise. I got to spend the majority of my morning outside feeling the wind on my face and listening to the leaves blow all while being a part of the wardrobe side of a production. I cut threads and laced boots. I met new faces and observed true grit.
And I got paid to do all of that.
Don’t misunderstand me and my tone- as what easily could be perceived as boasting would be wildly misunderstood. But you see, this was something that 17 year old me only saw in her dreams. To actually work a job- NOT for free- that allowed me to be in a space such as this one. And today, I lived that.
Still so much space left to grow, but it’s a win- it’s one of those little wins that actually feels kinda big right now to be honest.
I guess what I’m trying to say is that today was one of those days for me. A day where even though the lids of my eyes are as heavy as cinderblocks right now, I still find it hard to fall asleep- too excited for tomorrow. Ya know…?
The ones that remind why it’s all worth it.
