As November surges ahead and we somehow have landed almost smack dab in the middle of it already… the semester ends in four weeks. I’ll be moved out of Manhattan in five.
Where did the time go?
As much as I struggled with my feelings of New York City upon the move here back in August, it’s hard to resist a certain pull that has somehow formed. While taking upcoming Thanksgiving break into consideration where I’ll be spending the holiday at home… that leaves me just three Fridays left living in Manhattan.
And I have to admit… I’m finding myself feeling sad.
Before coming here, I was so dead set that this place wasn’t for me- that I would enjoy if my job allowed the opportunity to travel here once and while, but as for an everyday basis, it just wasn’t a good fit. And now I’ve never felt more confused.
I’m a girl with many interests. Parts of me feel as though my heart belongs somewhere more like Tennessee, and others, California. But I can’t ignore the freedom I feel every day when I walk out my door onto the street, feeling as through I could step out in the most extravagant outfit, and instead of received only puzzled and judgmental looks, there would be a mixture of appreciation. There’s a reason it’s called the fashion capital of the world…
I’m a girl who loves people. And let me tell you, this city has people. Lots of them, from all different walks of life. Although in my short time here, I never really found my core group, I could see the potential. I started finding the younger boroughs, discovering that there were people I would relate to, I just hadn’t found them yet. Everyday I strive to have a conversation with at least one stranger. No matter how the encounter ended up, I am so grateful for those experiences.
I think I’ve found that as we all have good days and bad, they are magnified here. The good days are better than good, and I tell myself I want to come back. But the bad days are bad… It’s a city of immense feelings. The highs are high, and the lows are lower than low. And to be honest, if you would’ve asked me which one weighed out the other, two months ago, I probably would’ve told you I felt more bad than good.
But now, I’m not so sure.
There’s so much I haven’t done here and yet my time is running out (at least for right now). I’m not sure where I’ll end up come this time next year… but I don’t think it’d be so awful if it was here.
