It’s been a while since I’ve sat here- in somewhat silence- and put my thoughts to paper or rather, a screen. But I figured it was time. As I’ve come to know myself more, reflection is a big part of who I am- and frankly should be a part of us all. I’ve strayed away from posting anything on here lately because I felt that anything I would write would lack purpose.
I usually come here to write when I’m booming with inspiration- when I have some big life lesson, reflection, or story to share. And lately, I just feel like I’ve been coming up short. Not much inspiration, nothing too riveting to share, just taking it day by day. While dreaming for the far ahead future, I’ve planted a current goal of really trying to enjoy and appreciate where my feet are right now.
So, for a small life update…
For a while, I know we were playing a bit of “where is Ranait in the world now?”. But after flying back from Italy in May, jumping over to Ohio to graduate, only to pack up again and move to Knoxville for a bit, I finally made the westward move over to Nashville. It was initially to get my footing, spend some time with family, and just figure out next steps without having to lug all of my belongings back up north- but simultaneously, I sought out to see if a life here was meant for me. For years in college, I always spoke of giving Nashville a try. From what I’d heard, it sounded like the perfect mix of a young city environment- but one where the “country culture” was welcomed. A place where I could still work in fashion, but instead of dressing movie stars, work with musicians- and more specifically, country musicians. It was a perfect dream world in my mind.
With age comes change. Change of wants, hopes, reality, and so on… I very quickly realized how caught up I was in that toxic cycle of “success” and what it meant to me. Only weeks in to living in middle Tennessee, I found myself taking steps towards the life 18, 19, and 20 year old me dreamed of- but yet somehow, at 22 couldn’t realize that because all I found myself wanting was more. Something different than where I was. The funny thing is, I haven’t even given this city a fair chance yet, but somehow have in ways written it off in my brain. But here’s the kicker…
Nashville is officially my new home for the next year. If you’ve been following my journeys for even just the last 12 months, you know that I haven’t stayed in one place any longer than 4 or 5 months… and I just signed a lease for a YEAR?!
I visited home a couple of weeks ago and the shock that overcame my brother’s face when I told him the news of my latest commitment will forever be plastered in my brain.
“You’re staying in one place for a whole year?! Wow…”
We laughed, but deep down inside, the realization instilled a panic. And then it hit me…
It’s one year. One.
That used to feel like such a long time, but I swear as years pile onto our age, the clock only seems to tick faster. That concept used to stress me out, and in ways still does- even bringing me back to a post I wrote not too long ago… The Pressures of “Doing it While You’re Young”. However recently, I’m not quite sure what clicked in my brain, but I realized-
I’m 22.
In one year, I will be 23. Only 23. So much life still left to live- God willing! So much time to still experience, make mistakes, try out other places in the world, and figure out what’s meant for me (and what’s not…).
So, Nashville gets one year. One (for now). I don’t know where I’ll be or what I’ll be doing necessarily, but if I have one goal, it’s to grow. To take this year to settle for a little- a very foreign concept to me as of late… To let the dust settle a little and really push to invest in myself, my new business Styled By RAM Thrift Bundles, and this space here with you- in my writing.
So, here’s to this year ahead, this new journey. Embracing the low moments, making room for the high ones- all while appreciating where my feet currently are.
